The Alice in Wonderland Diet

It's, I suppose, a plan that can be followed by anybody with a compulsive eating disorder. It is comprised of five stages that are carried out for varying periods of time:

Stage 1:

Six meals a day. Twenty minutes to eat.

You can eat WHATEVER the fuck you want at these meals but you have to respect the rules. There are only six meals, at whatever times you want (though following the pattern of breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack spread out evenly) In addition, as it is a common trade of binge eaters to lose control and begin a binge, you can only eat for TWENTY minutes. That means hell fuck if you want to binge for twenty minutes then you can. But then you have to STOP. IT's about exercising will power.

Keep at this stage until you have completed a full week of sticking to this plan exactly with no eating outside of your meals. Diet coke and gum, however, are allowed between meals.

Stage 2:

Six meals a day. Fifteen minutes to eat. Three healthy main meals with snacks in betweeen of whatever you want.

Retain the same structure as at stage 1 but this time your breakfast, lunch and dinner must each be a normal, healthy meal that is balanced and nutritious. The time allowed to eat has been shortened to fifteen minutes. This now not only helps with will power but also can aid your portion size, stopping you from absent mindedly eating everything on your plate.

Keep at this stage until you have completed two consecutive weeks of sticking to the plan. Diet coke and gum are still allowed.

Stage 3:

Six meals a day. Fifteen minutes to eat. Three healthy main meals. One snack of fruit in the morning, one light snack in the afternoon, one snack of whatever you want in the evening.

The time to eat has stayed the same (it will never go below fifteen minutes for the rest of the plan). Keep the three healthy main meals of stage 2 but this time the focus is on the snacks inbetween meals. The snack of fruit in the morning is because you often don't need much to tide you over between breakfast and lunch. If you have a light snack in the afternoon then it will improve your appetite for you evening meal. And leaving the indulgent snack to the evening exercises will power to push through to the end of the day.

Keep at this stage for three consecutive weeks. Diet coke and gum are now ELIMINATED between meals.

Stage 4:

A combination of stage three and three main meals with no snacks in between. On the first day you must eat three main meals that are larger in size than before and enough to keep you going, exercise your will power not to snack in between these meals. This will then be followed by a day of stage 3. Alternate these two plans throughout stage 4. You must also drink 6-8 glasses of  water a day.

Keep this up for a whole MONTH. Diet coke and gum are still not allowed. YOU CAN DO THIS. Weight loss should be apparent by this stage.

Stage 5:

There are three ways you can go from here. You can either go straight to the 'taking over plan' or you can continue with stage 4 until you reach your UGW or you can follow a diet (I'll be posting a few of my favourites) until you reach your UGW. The decision is yours. The thing that is IMPERATIVE at this stage is that you ask someone who knows you well what you should do. If they think you are capable of diet or that you need to, then do. But you must be aware that if someone thinks that you don't need to diet then you DEFINITELY SHOULDN'T. I am SO serious here. Dieting with any eating disorder can have disasterous effects. Do not do it unless you are ready.


Gooooood luck!

My Projectory

I don't know what the hell projectory means but I saw it once on an important document and thought it sounded good. (It's going on my 'good words' list)

This post is here to quickly just say that I am going to post the BRIEF (breif?) outline of my Alice in Wonderland Diet plan. And I thought it needed an introduction...

Fellow BED lovers

This post is going out to all those BED lovers out there. Hell yeah to you guys! Binge Eating Disorder can take over your life in just as dramatically destroying way that good old ana/mia can. But there's something worse about binging because it's highly superficial. You heard it here. Binging brings about a sudden hyper adrenal rush that is supposedly similar to sex (little snow white virgin that I am, I wouldn't be able to confirm this). You binge for the instantaneous results, but the after effects are disastrous and leave you in a much worse place than if you had avoided the binging.

There are two ways to go about getting over your binging problems. There's the regimental and restrictive regime (liking my exploitation of poetic devices today?) which basically involves following a very strict plan that you cannot FOR THE FUCKING LIFE OF YOU stray from and eventually just becomes a way of life, eating small meals throughout the day of lean and healthy food. And then there's the no restrictions, no snacks rule. You eat three to six meals a day and can eat whatever the hell you want at those meals to satisfy your cravings but you cannot eat for more than twenty minutes at a time or between these meals... I prefer the second.

I've tried both and being a HELL FUCKER binge eater for the past three months, I've found that forcing yourself to do something that doesn't feel naturally comfortable is too bloody hard. The thing that binge eaters all have in common is that they are addicted. But it's what they are addicted to that is different. For me it isn't so much the taste of food as the fact that I'm free to do what the hell I like. Being anorexic, I put up a lot of walls that I wouldn't let myself climb over. When I binge, I don't just climb over them, I knock those motherfuckers down. Until you've been at both extremes, I know it's hard to get a grasp on.

So I'm going to ignore myself here. I am a twat and I doubt anyone gives a fuck about my personal life. (This post is getting very long)

If you restrict yourself to a tight schedule with a few meals and no comfort food then, babe, you're just going to fuck it up again because your mind can't take it. CAN'T TAKE IT. I know what it's like. You tell yourself each morning 'today will work, I will not binge, I am stronger than that, I will be healthy, I am good' etc. etc. But then by putting restrictions on yourself, you're building yourself up to break the rules.

I guess all I'm trying to say is: recovery doesn't have to be terrible, it doesn't have to hurt and you can get through it slowly!

First Things First

I don't know how others feel but I find that there's something about the past that is glorified, romanticised, in a way that the present never can be. Maybe the future is the same, but the past is something sweeter. We'll never be that young, pretty, slim, happy or ignorant again and, like many people, I would do anything to go back to those days. So when life is tough, I go back to the things that made me happy when I was young. Right, so you've probably stopped reading by now because this blog is clearly nothing different to that other load of shit out there that is regurgetated by all those Belle de Jour wannabees (hurhur, good old nineties slang). Anyway I am not some sweetfaced college student who's trying to find a background to their... I'm bored of this sentence.

This blog is also not your casual pro-ana type profile that you can find anywhere on the internet. Nope. I'm one and for all a HEALTH BITCH. Take that saying loosely. This is health:



Don't you agree? Well it's a hell of a lot better than this:



Which, let's face it, is not only vile but also rather slutty. So bitches before you try and do this:


Think about how hot this is (I've asked those things called guys and they agree that curves are sexy):



Now don't start hating me because I'm ignorant or I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about because, baby, I do. I was anorexic for two years. Then bulimic for another two before finally succumbing to binging and hating myself and being a fat fuck again. Which is when I realised something, I was doing it all to be attractive to guys, but did I ever stop and ask them what they liked? It was all just a pre-conceived idea in my head that meant nothing in reality because every guy I asked preferred my last photo to the one before. Sorry but it's true. They said Betty Brosmer would be better in bed than that skinny bitch.

Ok maybe I'm being harsh. But the truth is I fucked up my life because I thought one thing that didn't even turn out to be the case. I wasn't healthy or happy when I was thin. But put it here, doesn't thin just sound bad? Slim, on the other hand, has sexual connotations that thin can only hope to dream of. No chance of pulling an anorexic bitch (just ask Tyler the Creator). Look, my point is that you can't hope to be truly happy unless you accept one fact: you are who you are and dress size doesn't matter, but fuck it your waist does!